


And it hurts, but in time, I know that we will recover

by Sumi



Category: The Last of Us (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26739442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/pseuds/Sumi
Summary: “Hey, you okay?” Dina asked with her arms crossed over her chest.Ellie let out a shaky breath. “More or less. Where’s Potato?”“Finally got him to stay down for his nap,” Dina said wistfully. She took a step towards Ellie, the smile turning coy. “So… what do you say we take advantage of the moment before our little bug wakes up and starts demanding attention in that oh-so-adorable way of his?”
Relationships: Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	And it hurts, but in time, I know that we will recover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beerbad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beerbad/gifts).



> This was written for the equality auction over on dreamwidth.

The gate clanged behind her, causing Ellie to freeze. Images of Joel’s bleeding, injured form flashed in her mind. It played on repeat, giving Ellie no reprieve from the flood of horrendous memories. 

She gritted her teeth, uncut nails digging into the skin of her palm. The pain helped force Ellie out of those thoughts, flooding her entire being. Ellie clung to it like a person adrift in the ocean with nothing but a life preserver keeping them from slipping under the waves.

After a minute or two, Ellie snapped back to reality. She shook her head and continued back towards the house. The memories shook her up, but Ellie wanted to keep it to herself. Dina had enough bullshit to worry about between JJ, the farm, and her own many, many triggers. Throw in a brand-new panic attack and it put extra crap on her shoulders.

Things had been tense ever since Tommy’s visit. It shook Ellie up enough that she almost left that same night. Dina begged Ellie not to go. Her desperate words were enough to pull her away from her grief—even if it was for a few moments.

The fact that Ellie intended to pursue Abby again seemed to weigh heavily on Dina. She didn’t fucking blame her. It was a dick move and not to mention another reminder that Abby still had way too much of an impact on her life.

Dina kept looking at Ellie like she would up and disappear. It had a way of twisting Ellie’s gut and making her feel guilty. Ellie never should’ve considered leaving. They were a family—like Dina had brokenly expressed that night through tears.

She had reached the steps when Dina pushed open the screen door. She flashed her a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Ellie noticed but said nothing.

“Hey, you okay?” Dina asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

Ellie let out a shaky breath. “More or less. Where’s Potato?”

“Finally got him to stay down for his nap,” Dina said wistfully. She took a step towards Ellie, the smile turning coy. “So… what do you say we take advantage of the moment before our little bug wakes up and starts demanding attention in that oh-so-adorable way of his?”

“Uh, hell yes.”

Being with Dina had a way of lulling Ellie into a state of calm. For a time, she could temporarily forget about Joel, Abby, and all the doubts Ellie had forced onto Dina by nearly taking off that night. She missed it and to Ellie’s relief; it felt like nothing changed.

Like clockwork, JJ woke up soon after Ellie and Dina had gone from the main course to the cuddling stage. Dina laughed, rolling out of bed and dressing before tending to Potato’s needs. Ellie followed a minute or two later, heart growing at the sight of JJ grabbing for her with his chubby little hands.

“I think he wants his Ma and not his Mama. What a cute traitor,” Dina playfully accused.

She handed JJ to Ellie, who gladly accepted the child with open arms.

“Kid has good taste. Can you blame him?”

Dina wrapped an arm around Ellie’s waist, lips coming to press a gentle kiss against the side of her neck. “I agree.”

Things were so good that day. Ellie didn’t have another panic attack, and she could enjoy spending time with Dina and JJ. She should’ve figured it would’ve all come crashing down because of the shit Ellie pulled the other night.

A night rarely went by where Ellie didn’t wake up at least once. It could’ve been a nightmare or just her mind refusing to shut down. That night was one of those times. Try as she might, Ellie couldn’t fall to sleep. 

Eventually, she just gave up and went downstairs to sketch. Ellie grabbed her journal, sitting cross-legged on the couch as she sketched. They were random doodles. Some of JJ and Dina, while others of nothing in particular. Drawing had always brought Ellie a sense of calmness… especially since everything that happened with Joel.

Ellie looked up when she heard frenzied footsteps coming towards her direction. She immediately noticed Dina, who had a bewildered look in her eye and panic written all over her face. It only faded when she noticed Ellie.

“Fuck Ellie! I fucking thought… never mind,” Dina muttered, voice just above a whisper. “Just wake me up next time or leave a goddamn note so I know you didn’t take off.”

She dropped her journal onto the couch, slowly making her way over to Dina. “Babe, I’m not going anywhere again. I swear.”

Dina let out a shaky breath, her hands coming up to cup Ellie’s face. “I know, El, but you almost did. That’s what is fucking me up.”

“How can I make it up to you?” Ellie asked almost desperately.

“Just be here for me and Bug.”

Ellie nodded, pressing her forehead against Dina’s. “This morning when I was out, I had one of those fucking flashbacks for the dumbest reason. I… wanted you to know that because sharing and all that shit is supposed to be healthy. At least that’s the crap Maria always went on about.”

This drew a tired laugh from Dina. “A little late, but I’m glad you told me. Wanna talk about it?”

“Fuck no. Well, not now anyway.”

“I respect that,” Dina responded. “Do you respect the need to get my ass back to bed before Bug wakes up?”

She snorted. “Fuck yeah, I do. I’ll be up in a sec, okay? I just want to finish my sketch before my inspiration abandons me for another month.”

Dina nodded and kissed her forehead before returning upstairs. She reached for the journal, finishing the sketch in under thirty minutes. By the time Ellie returned upstairs, everyone was asleep again—much to her relief.

Ellie climbed into the bed beside Potato, trying her best not to disturb everyone. She fucked up by almost leaving. Fuck knew what the future held, but Ellie was determined to not do anything to screw it up.

Like Dina had said, Abby didn’t get to take away their happiness for another fucking time.

Joel was dead and nothing was going to bring him back. For the past year and a half, Ellie had been trying her damndest to move on until Tommy rode in like a tornado, fucking up everything along in its path.

He might never forgive Ellie for going back on her word, but that was something she’d just have to deal with. It wasn’t worth risking their family.


End file.
